Thursday, September 23, 2010

Sometimes I Can't Take It

Sometimes the fact that I work eats me alive.  This morning was one of those times.  I consider myself to be a fairly laid back person, I talk in an even tone, I take things in stride, and like to laugh a lot off.  When life consumes me however, the ugly side of me comes out, and I yell, I yell loud, and people cry.  I HATE THIS!  I tend to think that me loosing it this morning had to do with the fact that I saw Bear for about 15 minutes last night and B-nut was asleep by the time I got home.  Anyhow, I was running around the house this morning and Bear told me he didn't want to lift the toilet seat because he didn't want to have to wash his hands.  (my son can pee without getting his hands near "anything" and in his mind if he doesn't touch the potty, he doesn't have to wash his hands) Judge me if you want but I was not going to open the potty for him.  You may think I got what I deserved but whatever.  Anyhow, he peed on the floor of the bathroom and a little on the wall.  I was done!  I yelled, he went to his room, B-nut had no clue what was going on.  I didn't want to clean the bathroom, I wanted to sit and eat with my kids this morning before I had to go back to work.  After he went to his room I started to clean up the pee, I cried, because I was cleaning pee I hate yelling at my kids, I much prefer to talk to them, I don't like to be yelled at, why would they?  After the crying on both ends stopped, Bear and I talked, I know he was fine because he sent me to work with one of his favorite Hot Wheels cars but still, I hate mornings like this.  It is a slap in the face to me that I work, and my drive is L-O-N-G, and it takes a lot out of me.  A lot of me that should be given to my kids.  Sometimes I just can't take it!

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