Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Internal Conflict

I am having an internal conflict of sorts...  I don't often write about religion/faith because it is a personal thing.  This post isn't ABOUT religion but it does have to do with something I am feeling right now about my faith.  I grew up in a home where faith was important.  Our family was very involved in our Church, we were not people who went out and pushed our religion on anyone, we went to Church, talked about various Bible stories at home, on the boat, in the car, you get the idea.  I did go to Church when I was in college (sometimes the early service on Sunday morning sometimes the late one because Saturday night was a little tough).  When I got my first job and lived about 30 minutes away from the Church my parents and sister family went to I found a Church that I liked that was close to my apartment.  Sometimes I would go to my parents and sisters Church for special occasions or if I was staying with my sister for the weekend (yeah, 30 minutes and sometimes I would stay at her house on the weekend, we joke that I was the weekend Nanny (but it made me so close to her kids and well she and I are like that)).  I ended up joining their Church when hubs and I got engaged and bought our first place.  Their Church wasn't the closest, but I was involved in Sunday school and I guess felt like I had some "place" there.  Hubs and I were married there, hubs never joined that Church, he said he didn't feel a connection, there were things that I was feeling and after Bear was born hubs and I started to look for a Church together.  We visited various Church's and found a Church that we both liked.  Hubs felt a very strong connection with the people there.  I found a lot of support and a congregation that I felt cared about my family.  We joined that Church, Bear was Baptised there and the overwhelming support we felt through Bear's surgery was amazing.  We became more involved in the Church and it was great!  Then the Pastor left... 
Jump ahead until now, about 2.5 years later and we have a wonderful Pastor and our Church is still in the process of trying to build a building (we don't have a Church building yet).  While I believe that you can talk to God anytime, anywhere, and the building is not the most important thing, I have begun to notice that when we do visit other Church's (friends Baptism's, etc.) Bear acts completely different, I wonder, is it the more formal setting that he realizes he is somewhere special, how do you explain to a 3 year old that he is in a Church when it doesn't look like one.  I also am feeling a little disconnected.  I don't know what it is.  My faith or connection to God is not the problem, I am feeling disconnected from the people.  I have been thinking a lot about this during this past week especially because my sister and I went to visit our old Pastor at his new Church about 30 minutes away from where we live (which is the same Church I first went to when I moved here).  Sitting there listening to him, it felt different.  My husband feels like I should talk to the Pastor of our Church and tell him how I am feeling, but I just don't feel comfortable, and I don't like that, I want to feel comfortable talking about any feelings I am having.  Am I over analyzing things?  Is the fact that we don't have certain programs set up in our Church for my children making me want something else. Then if we did change Church's what kind of example am I setting for my children?  They have the goal of setting up different programs, but we are a small Church that is trying to establish itself.  If everyone jumped ship then there would be nothing, nothing new would ever become something great if people just gave in.  I just want my children to have the same opportunities I had growing up in my Church.   

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

My Little Man

Bear is my little man. Hubs went away hunting this weekend. While he was not going to take Bear with him he did ask (I think because he wanted to know what Bear would say) “do you want to come with me, I am going to see Poppie?”. Bear looked at him with very thoughtful eyes and replied “no, I need to stay home and take care of mommy and P-nut.” Hubs just smiled, I think he was happy that he said that instead of “no, I want to stay with mommy”, at least he felt like Bear “needed” to stay. Funny, but he is “taking care” of us. On Friday morning we came downstairs and did our normal routine, I saw Bear climbing up to the counter and asked what he was doing, he responded “well, I am getting P-nut her banana” (this is something hubs usually does). Bear pulled the coffee creamer out of the fridge for me as well. He is even sleeping on hubs side of the bed (hey, I let him sleep all night in my bed when hubs is gone, it is like a little treat for him), typically when hubs is home Bear tries to come on my side about an hour before we all get up (he is my BIG cuddle Bear), so for him to get the chance for the whole night is a HUGE deal! Of course hubs question was a loaded one, it went both ways, I think I would have been sad to hear Bear say “yeah, dad, I want to go with you”, I know that time will come, Bear loves his daddy and shadows so many of his moves but it is nice to know he feel like he needs to take care of his mommy. I have said it before and I will say it again, Bear loves to tag along with his daddy, but he loves his mommy too! He is my little man.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Aloha Friday

Aloha, it is Friday and once again time to link up with An Island Life for Aloha Friday!  I am all pumped up for the holiday season.  Our tree is up (it only has lights right now), one of the local stations started their all Christmas music this morning, and the stores are all ready with their sparkly decorations!  While I love Thanksgiving and what it means to me.  I am so excited about Christmas. 
My question for you:
If you celebrate Christmas when do you put up your tree?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

It Doesn't Matter If You Win or Loose As Long As...


In the true fashion (no pun intended) of my college roomie/BFF I got an email from her today telling me she almost bought WVU Sports Bras for the Iron Girl.  I talked her into doing Iron Girl Columbia with me in August 2011.  In my defense it didn't take too much to talk her into it so please don't think I am a bad friend.  Yes, BFF come with me and my sister for a FUN day of swimming .65 miles (open water), bike 17.5 miles (of hills), and the run a 5.5K.  It will be great!
Seriously it is an awesome experience!
Anyhow, so in her true colors she is thinking about what she will be wearing in a race that is about 9 months away.  I love it, now she has me thinking about what I will be wearing.  You know "it doesn't matter if you win or loose as long as you look good".  So yeah I need to plan my outfit. 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Spaghetti Tacos

Thanks to iCarly, Bear insisted on having Spaghetti Tacos for dinner one night this week.  Last night was the night!  I have to say hubs and I were a little nervous about it.  I thought that hubs would say it was gross, but without holding back he dove in.  THEY WERE SOOOOO GOOD!!!
Hubs loved them, Bear ate it right up, and P-nut enjoyed the spaghetti and meatballs.  So the overall rating was MAKE again.  Here is the break down of our spaghetti tacos.
Tacos Shells
Sour Cream
Spaghetti w/ meat sauce
Cheddar Cheese
Tacos Sauce
Then each of us got to mix and match what we wanted in our tacos.
I devoured mine, everything except the meatballs (P-nut ate a ton of them so I gave mine up).
Give em a try, you will not be sorry you did.
Thanks again iCarly.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Monday, November 8, 2010

Daylight Savings

I DO NOT LIKE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS (right now).  Gone are the days that daylight savings in the fall meant an extra hour of sleep.  I have been in misery since Saturday night.  Bear never had an issue with daylight savings, P-nut however...  I did my normal fall behind night with the kids, 30 minutes postponed bedtime, everyone went down great.  Then 4:30 am came around and well, I guess P-nut felt it was time to start the day.  Her naps were nuts on Sunday and well, last night, not a good night (maybe it also has something to do with the diaper rash she has) but I want to blame daylight savings! 
I was bitter hearing and reading posts on FB from friends "ah, love the extra hour of sleep", "so happy for daylight savings".  Guess what, I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!
Daylight savings for me:
I get home at dark...  No playing outside with my kids after work, no running outside after work (I don't like to run by myself after dark), feeling like I want to go to bed at 6 pm.
No extra hour of sleep on "the day"...  It takes a few days for my kids to get their sleep schedule back on track.
Sorry I will be in a better mood later!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Looking Back on Fall

I know technically it is still "fall", but after Halloween I get into full on Christmas mode.  Hate on me if you want but!  I don't care, I love the Christmas season and wish it was longer so, I get in the zone early.  Our tree goes up on Thanksgiving night (if not the night before turkey day) and my shopping has already begun.  Before I get all Christmas on you in my posts, here are some picture highlights of Fall!

At the pumpkin patch.

Yeah I know, I am hot!

So strong, he had to pull the wagon.

Bear's field trip, P-nut got to come along.

The only "little" kid that went on the rope swing.

The night before Halloween we went to see 2,000 hand carved pumpkins.  (oh yeah and we stopped at a vineyard before)

Halloween (my Hotwheels driver and my Skunk)

P-nut had her first lolly pop, she couldn't find where it went...

Then she got really upset when she couldn't get it off her belly!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: Love My Body

I decided to pour my heart out today.  Typically I am not one to open myself up and talk about TRUE emotions, so please bear with me.

While I was running last night I started to think about something; I love my body!  I know so many women out there do not, they look at themselves and see all the imperfection on their bodies.  Now trust me, I see plenty of imperfections on my body, there are things that I would love to change and there have been plenty of times that I have hated my body.
I would love to loose the 9 lbs. that are on my body so that I am back to the weight I was when I walked down the isle to marry hubs.  I would love to have something that resembles breasts on my body after nursing two children, they just don't seem the same.  The spider veins on my legs, would so love them to be gone, would love for the giggle of my tummy bulge to not be there when I run or the hints of bruises on my tummy to be gone (Lovenox injections).  I go mad at my body for having issues when it came to pregnancy.  So you can see, there are things about  my body that I do look at and have issues with.
I love my body for what it is.  A body that carried and nursed two amazing children.  A body that completed a sprint triathlon.  A body that can make my children safe and happy just by holding them.  A body that can turn my husband on just by the way it moves.  A body that is mine, that I love!
So I embrace my body, tummy bulge and all, because I love it!