Guilty!

I am so guilty.  Guilty of a lot.  Or maybe full of guilt, not sure.
Bear was invited to birthday party this week.  Except the party has going on during a time when I was working.  I hate that.  I hate that I miss out on things in my children's lives because I work (outside the home).  I have a killer commute to add to that.  I hold animosity towards my job for that.  I had to make arrangements for Bear to go to the party and while I have no idea (I like to think the other mom's don't think much about it) what the other mom's think.  It kills me that my dad is the one that drives Bear to and from school.  That his teacher and pre-school director know my dad's face over my own son's mother face.  I feel GUILTY over that.  It drives me nuts and often makes me cry (when no one is looking).
Someone asked me today what my mileage was up to.  They know that I am relaying a 1/2 of a 1/2 marathon in May.  I laughed and said, you don't want to know.  Ha!  Training!  So far I have been running when I can and THAT is all.  Okay how about another does of guilt to go along with your guilty conscious.
I need to get my rear in gear!